Wow, Michelle! My daughter and I thought your comments were great! Thank you for putting so much time into her college application essay. Your comments prompted her to think about the reader's perspective and not to assume that the reader would have background on her topic. She also gave more thought to how much (or little) information she was revealing about herself - which is the purpose of the essay. You went way beyond a simple grammar and sentence structure edit! She is getting a great lesson in essay writing from you. Thank you! By the way, she has heard back from 5 schools, and all have offered her scholarships. One admissions director even wrote a note on the bottom of the acceptance letter saying how much she enjoyed Lauren's essay. Your help has been invaluable!